A Moment of Hope and Optimism

I just had a call requesting an interview with me for a part time special education aide (with benefits) in the local school district! This would be wonderful on several points:

part time – I don’t know that I’m ready to work full time yet, but I WANT to work!

benefits – even if they aren’f full benefits, anything helps!

I know the district has a special education teacher retiring in a year. This position would give me an opportunity to show the district what I’m capable of and possibly have they interested in considering me for that position. Nothing is ever a given, but I’ve always wanted to have people evaluate my potential by seeing what I can do, rather than through an interview.

This is a local district. I would REALLY like to work in a local district to help support the community I live in.  These are small towns that deserve good educational support.

Please send positive vibes my way for this position!

American River Charter School

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Conundrum

English: A special education teacher assists o...

English: A special education teacher assists one of her students. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I feel like I’m in a conundrum. My head tells me, “Go out and find a job. You’ve taken enough time off. You’ve gotten through your year from hell and survived. You have all that education that you need you use, now find a way to use it.” (I have a bachelors in Elementary Education and special education and a masters in Education, Media, Design and Technology) But I am afraid. None of the jobs I’ve ever had that have amounted to much have ever come from formal applications and interviews. I’m TERRIBLE at selling myself and the more I think about job qualifications, the less qualified I feel for any kind of job. Yet, if I’m in a job, I can do it. There’s the high functioning BPD in me! Now I’m here in a new environment with no connections to work off of. I have to go through that formal process of applying, resume, interviewing (if I’m ever lucky) and the very though scares me to death! Even for a job I’m extremely over qualified for, like a grocery clerk. I’m so afraid of selling myself that I’m ready to do nothing, just to avoid the process. Hence the conundrum.