Job Interview – GULP!

Youths are taught life skills at the workshop (Photo credit: Development Works Photos)

I’ve been feeling much more stable lately, so I finally decided to apply for some jobs. I had applied for two professional ones – never heard about one and the other declined. I also applied for a job at a chain pet store and chain lumber/ hardware store. I was called for an interview at the lumber store and had the interview today. I almost cancelled because I have reservations about working there. But I didn’t and the interview went well, I think. My husband also suggested that I put in an application at a non-profit facility that works with disabled adults. I did some research on it and got really excited! They strive to discover and bring out the abilities, of their clients, that are somewhat hidden by their disabilities. In addition to working on life skill and helping them find employment in the community, the facility also fosters the artist and musician in them. THIS seems like a job possibility that might utilize my experience and education clear through my masters degree! So, I cleaned up my resume, made copies of three of my letters of recommendation, printed out and signed the job description (per directions) and took them in today. I hate to get too excited, but I’d much rather work at this place than the lumber/hardware store. It would be a chance to help people and maybe make a difference in their lives. Keep your fingers crossed that I’ll get a call from them asking for an interview!

 

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Rodger Waters: The Wall

I don’t know how many of you are familiar with Rodger Waters (previously of Pink Floyd) and his epic piece The Wall that was originally produced and performed 33 years ago. Well, my husband, son and I are going to see him in Chicago in June. I just got done watching an interview with him on 60 Minutes and it reminded me of how powerful The Wall is. A childhood without a father, walls between relationships, desperateness. It will be a great show – and emotionally overwhelming. I know parts will hit very close to sensitive nerves.I may just wish to become … comfortably numb.

Roger Waters To Appear On 60 Minutes This Sunday (wncx.cbslocal.com) Cover of Pink Floyd The Wall

The last few days have been especially emotional for me as I deal with impending separation/loss of friends and family due to our move. Every bit of sadness seems to send me over the edge. Every disagreement spurs a rage in defense of a possible loss. Abandonment seems to surround me.  I’m afraid  to speak out. When I do, if there is disagreement, it rapidly escalates (by me). Last night, my husband went to help chaperone a party the neighbor boys were having for our son, knowing that if I did and anything needed an intervention I would over react. He did need to address a situation with a boy, and was able to do it. When he told me how it had evolved today, I realized how much I would have over reacted and probably ended the night for our son, instead of just the situation. Once I start going, I don’t seem to be able to rein it back in until the damage has been done. And I seem to have to shame others in it as well. That’s really shitty.

A metaphorical visualization of the word Anger. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Tomorrow is the last day I will be seeing my psychologist before I move next month. She’s going into private practice (part time.) My anxiety is increasing as the move gets closer. I think that’s why the sad emotions are getting so out of whack. I don’t seem to be getting quite as angry, so that’s good.

I’ve been frustrated with my mom because she’s obviously having some difficulty with us moving, but trying to hide it. I’ve invited her over for coffee Tuesday morning. I’m going to attempt to (as another blogger said) use sand paper to pop a pimple. Hopefully, if it’s just the two of us, I can help her to actually open up and maybe cry with me about it. My mom has never been one to show her sadness. Maybe showing it together will bring us closer. I know I’m taking a BIG chance here, but I can’t leave without taking this chance. I don’t think it will hurt, and it might just help us both.