Never Give Up

Shambhala card #4

Never give up on anyone or anything.

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Commentary: In the wakeful vision of Shambhala, which we call the vision of the Great Eastern Sun, no human being is ever a lost cause. We don’t feel that we have to suppress or put a lid on anyone or anything. We are always willing to give things a chance to flower.

In all my fears and insecurities, my self doubt and inward anger (much less outward anger) I often feel that I am a lost cause. Life is a lost cause. This card reminds me that this is not so. Please do not give up on me and help me see that I have reasons to not give up on myself.

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Closed Doors

Here is an attempt to write,  jogged by a post by Jensinewell “Walking Through Doors” and how we often forget what we were looking for once we have changed environments. My comment to her post was that I have to stop walking through doors because I can’t remember anything. She suggested staying in one room to see if my memory improved, but which room?

The Memory Room

My mind is full of memories:

heartwarming, heartbreaking

lessons learned, taught, memorized, forgotten.

Snapshots of my childhood

reality or stories told too often?

Years pass and memories layer like shingles on a roof.

Protection that gets added to, even as it decays over time.

Corners chip, debris erodes, layers  buried.

Some are lost in storms, unnoticed for the moment, ’til needed.

A damaged section causes grief and needs attending to.

But where is it?

That Memory, that shingle

that has been

damaged,

forgotten?

The Memory  Room is there to fill in all the gaps;

from the grocery item you didn’t write down,

and forgot as soon as you walked out of the house,

to the exam question that  you studied so hard for,

and lost the answer to as soon as you started the exam.

When  list making or studying is done in the Memory Room,

those memories are never forgotten.

They are written write into your long term memory

as if they were your genetic makeup.

So take care what you choose to learn in there!

But there is yet a deeper side to the Memory Room

for memories of the past.

Sit in the room and be still, but not alone,

and all of your past will come back to you –

you cannot pick and choose.

Oh, that you could.

For that is what I fear –

that there will be something

I don’t want to see,

or possible worse,

nothing at all.

What then?