Random Ramblings about my BPD

Bringing some of my blog title into a post …

Finding myself scratching my leg, and then i keep on scratching. There is not itch. 

Fighting to make my smile reach up and into my eyes.

Happily watching my dog, Chi, playful at last – after a month and a half recovery from ????

Fearful of words left unspoken. 

Wanting to take anxiety pills and alcohol and sleep, sleep, sleep.

Grateful the weekend is here and I don’t have to go to work. I want to work, but it brings up SO much. 

Cloudy thinking. Cloudy feeling. I don’t know what I want. 

I know I’ll be alone some day. When, I don’t know. It takes me into disassociation.

It is what it is. My own doing? Inevitable. 

 

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6 thoughts on “Random Ramblings about my BPD

  1. This a little different than your usual style of writing. It seems to convey more of you…I appreciate hearing about your experience. Wish I could weave gentle hugs between each of the things you wrote.

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