Evaluated

Yesterday I had a psychiatric evaluation. the hard truth was put before me. Yet another specialist has confirmed my having BPD. It hasn’t gone away, and doesn’t look like it ever will. I feel depleted inside. Empty. For the most part, the last few months have been good. Better that it’s been for a long time. But just when I realize this, something triggers me and my anger. I’m feeling really sad about this. The mountain continues in front of me. Upward and onward.

bpd

bpd (Photo credit: Jackal1)

 

 

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12 thoughts on “Evaluated

  1. Hey Hawkruh,
    You got the evaluation…..what was this for? Can it help you get assistance somehow? It sounds like it was hard for you to hear the diagnosis. But didn’t you already know you have BPD? (I hope these questions don’t come across wrong.)

    I hope you get some relief soon. Keep writing. Sending best wishes to you.

  2. I know that the BPD diagnosis is a really awfully bitter pill to swallow. Having the same diagnosis as you, the stigma is terrible and the hopelessness and frustration involved is real bad. It’s tough for me to be able to offer any advice right now but in saying that, I really do hope that we can all really fight this, inform ourselves as much as possible and live the best lives that we can even though it can be very debilitating. Hopefully our efforts will pay off by dedicating ourselves to therapy and stuff.

    Wishing you progress x

  3. I for one dislike the term ‘borderline personality disorder’. I mean come on medical profession, who are you to say if someone’s personality is borderline. Everyone has a personality, therefore nobody’s personality is borderline.

    Sorry you found the confirmed diagnosis hard to take. I was under the impression that if you have bpd, it is a lifelong condition? I have bipolar & I’ve come to accept it as something I’ll always have. Hope you start to feel better soon!

  4. This is the problem I have with diagnoses: You’re tacked a label on and then are left alone with it. 😦 I’m also not convinced of the validity of diagnostic manuals as they simply provide lists of symptoms and you get the diagnosis when you have a sufficient number of symptoms. My husband and I are both psychologists and my husband is currently undergoing education to become a therapist and works with BPD patients quite a lot. He told me that although I’m usually not emotionally unstable in the BPD sense, I’d easily get the diagnosis because I have sufficient other symptoms (such as dissociative states, low self-esteem, impulsive behaviors, etc). So basically diagnoses just group symptoms together in a label, and then you suddenly have a social category for those with a certain diagnosis that opens up the doors for stigmatization. I believe it would be more helpful to work with people on the basis of non-stigmatizing, nonjudgmental, descriptive evaluations of patterns of thinking, feeling, and behavior. I very much hope the diagnosis doesn’t put you down too much – it doesn’t condemn you to stay this way for the rest of your life because things are always in flow!

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