I just realized …

I just realized I haven’t written in about a week. I have been busy reading other blogs, playing with my puppy (3 months old), making new friends here through swimming class. TODAY, my outlook is good. I’ve had periods of sadness, anger, anxiety … the gamut that usually torment me … but not for sustained periods. The blogs of others, especially  Jaen Wirefly’s (You Know You’re Borderline When …) posts on mindfulness and Gypsy’s (Through my eyes: Adventures in Boreline Land) reminder to think positively. Others have shared progress going on in their lives (Mandi) and just shared some humorous anecdotes about their family and children (John the Aussie). There are others and you’ve all kept me moving forward!

My husband now is employed, almost full time, although still no benefits, so that takes some of the worry off. He is not pressuring me to go back to work yet. I want to, but don’t feel the time is right just now. Making friends and building that support network, here in a new environment, is what I need to do first. The people in our community are very friendly and welcoming. I’m putting forth the effort to make friends, which I never really did before. I’m struggling with parenting a 16 year old boy – who is a great kid, but is still a 16 year old boy with all that that entails. Thank God I’m not a single parent!

Having more than a day or two in a row without the yuk is kind of scary, but good. I’ve been having days with short periods of distress that I’ve been able to stay with and not succumb to. I appreciate the good days and know the bad days won’t last forever. But I know this “thing” won’t ever leave me for good also, and that’s somewhat distressing – but is what it is and not an excuse to check out. I do have a son to set an example for. 

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8 thoughts on “I just realized …

    • Yes I have noticed, and I’m glad to count you as one! You don’t say much, but I’m always happy to see you’ve read my post and tickled to see a rare comment. I love hearing tidbits about your kids because they remind me of days gone by with my son. Those day pass way too fast! I really enjoy your posts and re-posts – and your Aussie sense of humour too! What really surprises me, though, is when I visit a new blog and see that you’ve been there too. You seem to be everywhere! Thanks again for being in my circle.

  1. I find the blogger circle really interesting too… I just read one blog, which lead to another, and I guess became part of a circle! Which has become a huge part of my life. Interesting.

    It sounds like you’re doing well. Even through the ups and downs. Being able to make new friends is huge, and you’re getting out. I’m jealous. I want to move to a new city and start ALL over. But I wouldn’t yet. Not until I’m a lot less crazy and more “friend material”. 🙂

    You know, I don’t think all this has to be something you deal with forever. I don’t plan for it to be part of me forever. I’ve seen and read stories about people who have overcome BPD. I better be one of them! Everyone has down times, and probably because of our pasts we’ll need to be more aware during those times. Don’t get used to being like this. You’re not going to be like this forever!!

    Glad you can see progress in me where I can’t 🙂 I’m so grateful to have met you!

  2. You sound like you’re doing good. It’s helpful to have a husband who works full time. This gives you the opportunity to take care of emotional wounds and show yourself kindness.

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