I feel like I’m in a conundrum. My head tells me, “Go out and find a job. You’ve taken enough time off. You’ve gotten through your year from hell and survived. You have all that education that you need you use, now find a way to use it.” (I have a bachelors in Elementary Education and special education and a masters in Education, Media, Design and Technology) But I am afraid. None of the jobs I’ve ever had that have amounted to much have ever come from formal applications and interviews. I’m TERRIBLE at selling myself and the more I think about job qualifications, the less qualified I feel for any kind of job. Yet, if I’m in a job, I can do it. There’s the high functioning BPD in me! Now I’m here in a new environment with no connections to work off of. I have to go through that formal process of applying, resume, interviewing (if I’m ever lucky) and the very though scares me to death! Even for a job I’m extremely over qualified for, like a grocery clerk. I’m so afraid of selling myself that I’m ready to do nothing, just to avoid the process. Hence the conundrum.