Reality

I want to be happy, I REALLY DO, yet my ears are whooshing like they usually do after I’ve been crying, which I haven’t , and I’m scratching at my leg in anxiety. Dragging my nails up vertically. This morning, I received a call stating that, due to our move, our insurance was cancelled as of July 1st. F#^*#, that wouldn’t have happened if I had just “retired” my position without going on disability. Then I would have had two more months of insurance. How does that change things??????

So now I’ve taken away insurance from my family.OK, OK this is not a victimization party. I’m not trying to feel sorry for myself. But I was told that my insurance went through August per our contract! Whatever! I need to get insurance coverage for myself ( meds and therapy) and my husband and son. It’s just too expensive and risky to not have insurance these days. I don’t want to lose our house.

So tonight I sit alone and drink. I’ve hardly eaten all day. I don’t want to. I wish the whooshing would stop. It drives me crazy.

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