Grey Zone

I’m in a bit of a grey zone right now. I want to write, but don’t know what to write about. I’m moving in 5 weeks and have an appointment set up with a new therapist (but I freaked when I saw the cost!) Now I am doubting myself and wonder if I should cancel it and just make do. I seem to be in a better spot right now so maybe it would be OK? There is another cheaper therapist. Do I really need therapy now? I’m not so anxious and I haven’t self harmed in about a month or so. My husband and I are doing  MUCH better! Even had sex today for the first time in months. All right, I know the move will be stressful, but maybe I’ll be ok with it. What do you think?


Psychoanalysis (Photo credit: Carlos Ferrer)


7 thoughts on “Grey Zone

  1. This is what we call BPD thinking. Keep therapist, moving is still going to be hard. Sorry… but true. Ive been ok for like a week. Woke up at like noon and SO didnt want to deal w being alive so I went back to sleep for a few hrs. Today SUCKS and I seriously HATE BPD. Trust me. Keep the therapist.
    And soon welcome to the west coast! SO different from the east. It will take an adjustment!!! I’m just 4 hrs away so maybe we’ll meet!

  2. I do hope we can meet Mandi! I’m really looking forward to the move. Big sigh about therapy. Thought maybe I had miraculously gotten better (LOL) but I know that’s a joke on myself. Bad though it is. What it means is that the other shoe will eventually drop, as my husband says. It’s just still up in the air.

    • Ya, flipping A, odds are the other shoe will drop. Thats what f’ing sucks about this. You get your hopes up, think things might suddenly be better! ! But no, they DON’T suddenly get better. BUT with therapy you will start getting better. Its just not going to be like this. Did you find an ISTDP therapist or different type?

  3. There are support groups available, though not psychoanalysing you, they offer thoughts and experiences and how they overcame their own problems. While many still seek therapy still they find a second comfort in these groups. Just a thought.

    • You’re right John. I need to look at all of my options, especially since I’ll be in a new environment and my husband probably won’t be with me for a while unless, by some stroke of luck, we sell our house in the next week or so. Thanks for the reminder.

  4. I cant tell you what you should do, but with I know about you, I would suggest that you keep the appointment and try the therapy.

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