Alone

I was going to insert a picture of just myself here, but couldn’t find one in my collection of hundreds. No one ever suggests taking a picture of just me, or even spontaneously takes one, and I don’t like doing head shots of myself with my phone. Even this makes me feel alone. So, no picture to share.

In San Francisco with my husband and son. People everywhere, yet I feel so alone. I don’t like to talk when there are so many people around, so I get quiet and end up saying nothing, and even removing myself to walk a few steps behind them as we go through Pier 39 and up Haight St. They talk, I don’t even listen, lost in the sea of lives washing over me. Feeling very sad. Out of place. There’s no place I feel like I fit in though. Often, even among family, I don’t feel a part of the moment; I don’t fit in – though they would disagree.

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